{"id":740,"date":"2026-07-03T13:11:39","date_gmt":"2026-07-03T13:11:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/relocationacrossamerica.com\/?p=740"},"modified":"2026-07-03T13:11:39","modified_gmt":"2026-07-03T13:11:39","slug":"in-1976-i-went-to-jail-to-celebrate-the-fourth-of-july","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/relocationacrossamerica.com\/?p=740","title":{"rendered":"In 1976, I went to jail to celebrate the Fourth of July"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

I am an unabashed lover of the Fourth of July. I always have been. In 1992 I spent the holiday in jail trying to protect a confidential source. That wasn\u2019t my favorite Fourth, though you\u2019ll forgive my hubris if I think it was my most patriotic. My favorite Independence Day was the bicentennial. I also went to jail that year. Sort of.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Read more World Cup visitors love ranch dressing, Buc-ee\u2019s and BBQ<\/a><\/p>\n

My love for the Fourth comes from my grandfather, who emigrated to this country from Lebanon. He was a proud American. Each year he celebrated this country by claiming it was \u201calways filled with possibilities.\u201d We had a family barbecue and fireworks. After he passed, my dad continued the tradition.<\/span><\/p>\n

Nothing in my experience as a child compared to the family fireworks display. We lived next door to a police officer who often helped dad produce our summer extravaganza. One year, my six-year-old brother unceremoniously dumped some gasoline on a large pile of \u201cduds\u201d and then tossed in a lit match \u201cfor fun.\u201d Dad had to save him from the ensuing explosion and took a skyrocket across his chest. It left a scorched black mark on his orange rayon shirt that made him look like a superhero. No other harm befell him or my little brother. At nine, I was impressed with my father\u2019s athleticism as he scooped up my little brother during the pyrotechnics, as well as the colorful chaos itself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fireworks were illegal in Kentucky, but every year my dad made the six-hour trek to Nashville and back, where every entertaining explosive known to man could be bought in as many varieties and quantities as your heart desired and your pocketbook could afford.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

I figured I could make a small mint by driving to my dad\u2019s favorite all-night firework stand and, for a reasonable fee, providing my friends with some patriotic explosives.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

By 1976, mom and dad had split, and as the bicentennial approached, it looked like I wouldn\u2019t get to see the usual wild display of pyrotechnics and potential loss of limbs. Then, one day, while cleaning out my mom\u2019s 1970 blue Chevy Impala, I had an epiphany. The trunk was massive. In later years, my friends and I would sneak two to four people into the drive-in theater utilizing the trunk space. Many a teenage love affair began or ended there. But on that day, I imagined that trunk filled with fireworks. Being a healthy capitalist, I immediately started taking orders from schoolmates. I figured I could make a small mint by driving to my dad\u2019s favorite all-night firework stand and, for a reasonable fee, providing my friends with some patriotic explosives. There was only one problem with my perfect plan: At 15, I wasn\u2019t old enough to drive.<\/span><\/p>\n

That didn\u2019t stop me. One night, after my mom went to sleep, I made the trip to Nashville, purchased the fireworks and headed for home. I\u2019d be back before mom woke up, I told myself. She\u2019d never know. Then, outside of Shepherdsville, Kentucky, on Interstate 65 at approximately 4:27 a.m. on June 23, 1976, I saw \u201crollers\u201d behind me. The red light and a siren from a cop. I was confused. The speed limit was 55. I was doing just 62.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I promptly pulled over. The officer walked up to my idling Impala and informed me that my left taillight was out. I had probably damaged it when loading fireworks.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cGee, I didn\u2019t know,\u201d I said with a smile.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWell, you know if I was a state trooper, I\u2019d probably give you a ticket. But I\u2019m going to let you go with a warning.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThank you, officer,\u201d I replied.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJust let me see your license and registration, son,\u201d he said calmly.<\/span><\/p>\n

I swallowed. \u201cI haven\u2019t got one, sir.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He looked at me, confused. \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just 15. I don\u2019t have one.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t know what else to say. It wasn\u2019t a good story, but at least it was the truth.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBoy, don\u2019t you know you gotta be 16-years-old to operate a motor vehicle in the Commonwealth of Kentucky?\u201d he asked.<\/span><\/p>\n

I sensed an opportunity. \u201cNo sir, I didn\u2019t,\u201d I said. \u201cBut I\u2019ll check on that as soon I get home.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Thirty minutes later, I was in the 1970s version of Sheriff Andy Taylor\u2019s office from \u201dThe Andy Griffith Show.\u201d I was worried \u2014 but not about my legal problems. More than anything else, I was concerned about my haul. The cops towed my mother\u2019s car into an impound lot, and I was sure they\u2019d found and confiscated the fireworks. All I could think was that some lucky corrupt cop, like our neighbor, was going to benefit from my labor, and I\u2019d be broke for the rest of my life. The quarterback on our football team had purchased $50 worth. I had even sold some to a teacher. I was screwed.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Mom had to get a friend to drive her to meet me at court that morning. She was near tears. I was sure it was out of anger. The aging judge sounded stern and angry, but he let me off with a warning: If I was caught driving again before I turned 16, he\u2019d make sure I was 18 before I could legally drive. I was still worried about what had happened to the fireworks, and I squirmed as we picked up the car at the impound lot and mom drove the 30 miles home.<\/span><\/p>\n

When we got home, dad was waiting. Since my parents had split, he wasn\u2019t around much, but this got his attention. He kept me outside, telling mom he wanted to talk to me. \u201cSomeone needs to,\u201d she said. Dad was aghast. He couldn\u2019t believe what I had done. He asked me what the hell I was doing driving around on I-65 outside of Shepherdsville at 4:30 a.m.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I came clean and told Pop the whole story, selling it under the guise of patriotism \u2014\u00a0and with three-part harmony and a harmonica. He frowned. \u201cHow much do you plan to make on this little endeavor?\u201d he asked. When I told him, he smiled and gave a slight whistle. \u201cAre they still in the car?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Read more Trump wrecked America\u2019s 250th in DC, but other blue cities will save it<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you have the keys?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I did. I did have the keys. My father rolled his eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYour mother\u2019s inside. Open the trunk,\u201d he commanded.<\/span><\/p>\n

I did and nearly passed out. To my surprise not one skyrocket, bottle rocket or firecracker was missing. The cops never opened the trunk. Dad smiled. I smiled. My friends and I were going to have a great bicentennial. Dad immediately made me give mom $40 for gas and the impound charge for her car. I also had to come clean with mom on what I did. I, of course, stressed the patriotic nature of my efforts and how all my friends would benefit from my labor.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then dad took me to breakfast. I paid, and then he took me grocery shopping. Part of my penance was buying $50 worth of groceries for the house. It was the best Fourth of July ever. For the first time in four years, mom, dad and all of us kids were together.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Unity, to make a long story longer, was in the air that year \u2014\u00a0and not just because my separated parents were bonding over their juvenile delinquent son. Now, I have the strange romantic notion that, for the briefest of moments, Americans joined hands and celebrated 200 years of an unrealized but longed for dream: Liberty and justice for all. Vietnam was over. Richard Nixon was over. We had survived a horrible eight years living with death and injustice on our doorstep, and a crooked lunatic as president. We all smiled.<\/span><\/p>\n

That year, a million people gathered on the National Mall to witness an historic fireworks display, while we, in our little corner of the world, enjoyed ours. We cheered our national ideals, and the nation seemed unified in trying to live up to them. That summer we celebrated Congress passing the <\/span>Government in the Sunshine Act<\/span>, which required federal agencies to conduct public meetings, and the <\/span>Toxic Substances Control Act<\/span>, which gave the Environmental Protection Agency the authority to regulate hazardous chemicals. Dad, using the words of his father, told me America was <\/span>always<\/span><\/i> a place with \u201cunlimited possibilities.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Who was I to argue? Viking I and Viking II landed on Mars. NASA rolled out the space shuttle \u201cEnterprise,\u201d and I drove to Nashville and back with a trunk load of fireworks, bought the family groceries and got my parents back together \u2014 albeit briefly.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Perhaps I look back at that time with rose-colored glasses. But this year we celebrate the nation\u2019s semiquincentennial. I still have hope, but it\u2019s not the same hope we had when Nixon was driven from office by his fellow Republicans. It isn\u2019t the joy of 1976.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

During a talk this week at the Richard Nixon Presidential Library, Vice President JD Vance stated that Watergate would only be a <\/span>\u201c12-hour news story\u201d<\/span> in today\u2019s media environment, adding he believed the \u201cdeep state\u201d was responsible for Nixon\u2019s downfall.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Trump and his regime are so grotesquely corrupt that the illegal activities of the Nixon years now seem to Vance like the exploits of a 15-year-old buying illegal fireworks.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

His comments were both startling and damning. Trump and his regime are so grotesquely corrupt that the illegal activities of the Nixon years now seem to Vance like the exploits of a 15-year-old buying illegal fireworks. Our millennial veep is ignorant of our own history.<\/span><\/p>\n

Forty government officials and members of Nixon\u2019s administration were indicted or jailed in connection with Watergate, and 48 individuals were ultimately convicted of crimes. Among those imprisoned were the president\u2019s top White House aides, his attorney general and his personal legal counsel.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now there\u2019s Donald Trump. This week it was reported the president has increased his personal fortune <\/span>by $2.2 billion<\/span> since coming back into office. He lied on Wednesday when he said he had placed his holdings in a blind trust and had no idea how much he\u2019s making because he doesn\u2019t talk to those running his companies. Trump turned over his assets to his two sons. They were standing behind him on the tarmac outside of Air Force One when he said it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Harry Truman, our 33rd president, once wrote that it was wrong to \u201ccommercialize on the prestige and dignity of the office of the presidency.\u201d Our 47th apparently finds it to be his highest calling.<\/span><\/p>\n

1976 was an odd year. I remember that John Wayne\u2019s last movie, \u201cThe Shootist,\u201d played at the same theater as \u201cThe Rocky Horror Picture Show.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

2026 is even odder. Our president is a demented crook literally <\/span>making billions off his presidency<\/span> while his millennial veep tries to convince everyone it\u2019s all okay. We\u2019re in a war that was started for reasons that still haven\u2019t been explained while our country deports \u201clow-wage foreigners,\u201d claiming that doing so is a Christian act.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let me be blunt: If I were 15 again, I wouldn\u2019t drive my mother\u2019s car to Nashville and purchase fireworks to celebrate this Fourth of July. But I would still go to jail to protest my government\u2019s illegal actions.<\/span><\/p>\n

Read more Prairieland sentences brings war on terror home<\/a><\/p>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

America’s 250th birthday is nothing like its bicentennial<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":739,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1057,4,5,910,986,1058,1059],"class_list":["post-740","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting","tag-american-250","tag-commentary","tag-donald-trump","tag-fourth-of-july","tag-july-fourth","tag-patriotism","tag-watergate"],"yoast_head":"\nIn 1976, I went to jail to celebrate the Fourth of July - Relocation Across America<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/relocationacrossamerica.com\/?p=740\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"In 1976, I went to jail to celebrate the Fourth of July - Relocation Across America\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"America's 250th birthday is nothing like its bicentennial\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/relocationacrossamerica.com\/?p=740\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Relocation Across America\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-07-03T13:11:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"10 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ba2572fa1a7a241291fdc36bdae80fcf\"},\"headline\":\"In 1976, I went to jail to celebrate the Fourth of July\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-03T13:11:39+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740\"},\"wordCount\":1934,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/9ec5e9bd86e3f051671486d7efb9a4a2.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"American 250\",\"Commentary\",\"Donald Trump\",\"Fourth Of July\",\"July Fourth\",\"Patriotism\",\"Watergate\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Interesting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740\",\"name\":\"In 1976, I went to jail to celebrate the Fourth of July - Relocation Across America\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/9ec5e9bd86e3f051671486d7efb9a4a2.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-07-03T13:11:39+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ba2572fa1a7a241291fdc36bdae80fcf\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/?p=740#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/9ec5e9bd86e3f051671486d7efb9a4a2.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/relocationacrossamerica.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/07\\\/9ec5e9bd86e3f051671486d7efb9a4a2.jpg\",\"width\":1692,\"height\":1142,\"caption\":\"WASHINGTON, DC - JULY 03: American flags are planted in the ground in front of a banner of U.S. President Donald Trump, hanging from the U.S. Department of Labor building, ahead of July 4th festivities on July 03, 2026, in Washington, DC. 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