Now that “House of the Dragon” is back, I’ve been spending the last few days speaking High Valyrian to my dog, but she refuses to lykirī (be calm), rȳbās (listen), or even consider the possibility of the drakarys (breathe fire) household I know in my heart we could have, with a bit more practice. Honestly, I respect her autonomy in that regard, and I can pick up what she’s putting down . . . even a domesticated dog is cooler than a dragon.
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All that pageantry and flapping around? Having to find and cook my own meals with fire that comes out of my face? Big no thanks when I know, eventually, you’ll just bring food right to me and let me sleep with my butt on your pillow at night. I can imagine her thinking this and, you know, that’s smart.
At the first appearance of Sheepstealer (more like scenestealer) freely snacking, ignoring commands and casually trying to kill everyone in Season 3 of “HOTD,” I thought, “That’s me.” Quickly editing my interior monologue, as to not admit psychosis: “That’s my dog.” But then the first look at Robert Eggers‘ new gothic horror film, “Werwulf,” dropped and I quickly shifted my anthropomorphic allegiance.
Set to be released on Christmas Day (perfect), the film stars Aaron Taylor-Johnson as a cursed farmer and Lily-Rose Depp as his cursed wife, joined in matrimony to deal with a “mysterious creature” lurking about the countryside of 13th-century England. Will this be the first year in the past handful that I choose to watch something other than “Carol” on Christmas day? Sounds like it.
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In a recent panel discussing the film, Eggers said, “It’s a medieval werewolf movie. And it’s also the darkest thing I’ve ever written. By far.” I’m guessing he doesn’t mean dark like, “can’t see sh*t,” as was the case with his previous films: “The Witch,” “The Lighthouse,” “The Northman” and “Nosferatu.” I’ll accept both meanings, happily.
Until then, hatching eggs in Westeros will do.
First look at Robert Eggers’ WERWULF. Only in theaters this Christmas. pic.twitter.com/UCFSxh7VrF
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— Werwulf (@werwulfmovie) June 25, 2026